for a few months,i've been dying to go back.to feel the warmth from family and my home.but now that i AM finally going back,i feel apprehensive.there's just people and certain things pulling me back.this whole year has been a hell of a crazy toontown ride.sometimes u go up but gravity just pulls u down after a while.i guess thats just life.we cant have all the goods in the world while the bads just cease to exist.there's no such life.without the downs, the ups just wouldnt feel as appealing and enjoyable would they?not another one of those philosophical shit about life.or mebbe it is.cos thats the only way to decipher the meaning of life and what it holds for us.



i keep asking myself why do we put ourselves up for such a challenging emotional ride?its really driving everyone crazy this sense of loss.i was watching survivor just now and even the part where the family members came to visit the survivors made me cry.how much they appreciated and missed their families.unbelievable.just goes to show how emotions conquer human beings,especially in times of need and loneliness.just like us coming to melbourne to study,away from family and friends.the new friends made are our family in this foreign land.in desperate or lonely times,we turn to them.confide in them.just in a few months such strong bonds can be formed.amazing isnt it?



cant help but feel emotional really.wanted to try pack just now but just didnt feel like it.part of me is just not prepared to go back just as yet.and i predict a very emotional day tomorrow at valedictory.dont even get me started.dont come up to me and say goodbye or wish me luck in the future.there will be serious flood if i cant stop wailing.besides that i dont know how im gonna face everyone.i wont know what to say!i am still in a phase of extreme denial.just now i mentioned that i dont want trinity to end.ann said that it has alrdy ended.-_-".



im in denial and i refuse to acknowledge and face reality!!!