Look over to the person next to you and ask yourself if you think they are happy.
I don't know if it's because I am naturally a sad person or that I think more when my mind's not in a happy place.
When I look at someone, I almost always see some form of despair.
It comes in all forms.
It could be an ambition given up for a job that brings home the dough,
an opportunity of another type of life passed on when a child is born,
come old age your memory fails you and you forget all the things that once made you happy,
a jetsetting expatriate who can never settle down AND unable to call any place home,
a high powered executive who has all the money but can't find love.

A lonely heart searches his/her entire life to find true love only to realize that it does not exist,
a person who keeps to him/herself such that no one finds out who they are,
every face he/she sees is a stranger.

Maybe this is part of growing up. The naivety of a child will eventually diminish, a hopeful kid has to face the surreal world one day.

I come back to the people here and I feel lost because there is a big world out there that they don't know and probably never will.
I feel guilt. torn apart.
I have been given this life that is much more privileged than them.
Do I hope for too much? So much so that I can never be satisfied?
I want to live.love.feel.give.
I want to find it.


nothing like a trip back home to teach me lessons of humility and humbling moments to remind me where i came from and where i can go.